I believe that God has a divine plan for everything. I believe that He works in our lives to accomplish incredible things before we even know what He has in store for us. However, I also believe that God works most through struggles and hardships. Unfortunately, I think that most frequently we must first be broken for his light to shine in on us, but there is nothing better than when God steps in and takes control.
When I was in the sixth grade my life felt like it was on a road that didn’t go anywhere. I felt like I was never going to be happy, never succeed, and never get to follow my dreams. But to look back on my life since then, I realize that that was one of the most crucial times in my life and that I could never be in the place I am today without that time. And I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. If I had not been through that extremely hard time in my life I would not have been prepared to realize that I couldn’t fight the troubles of this world on my own. In that season, God showed his power of provision to me by providing a better school environment for the second semester of that year. But everything changed when I went on my first service youth retreat in June 2013 and I realize that I wasn’t capable of fighting the fight on my own. Although I was fighting for myself, I was never alone. God was there in every hour of tears, every moment when I felt worthless and unwanted and in every moment that Satan told me that I wasn’t good at any of the things I loved. God was there protecting, providing and waiting for me to realize that I am nothing without my purpose. My purpose was and is to follow God with everything I have in me even when I fail. On June 13, 2013, I finally decided to stop just letting God run alongside me and to instead run hand-in-hand with Him through the rest of my life. Now I realize that God had been trying to show me what I needed, and that was simply that I had to accept his grace and love for me so that He could show me how He saw me; beautiful and chosen, exactly as he had designed me to be.
That is my story and it has taken me a long time to realize what God has been trying to teach me through that time. Now I am finally starting to see tiny glimpses into Gods character and plan for my life. He has taught me that even my passion for dance, though I may never be the best in my class or the lead character, can be used in further His kingdom. He has been teaching me that all the parts of His spiritual body are important though some are unseen. I believe we must except that we were created to worship Him and that He has equipped us with unique spiritual gifts for just that purpose.
God has given me a heart to dance for his glory, to be a missionary to my community, other cities and other countries, and He has given me a heart for teaching dance. I may not become a dancer but at least for this time in my life I am called to this ministry. God hasn’t left me feeling completely helpless to follow the great commission to, “Go and make disciples of all men” (Matthew 28:19). He has given me a tool and I intend to use it until He instructs me otherwise. I believe God has a plan for my life, and if being broken is what it takes to see His light, then so be it.