Edward F. Lundwall Jr.
The Many Facets of Christian Married Love
Many modern marriages have been entered into, because it has been the culturally accepted thing to do. When the motivations are simply to experience mutual admiration, to have companionship, and to fulfill sexual desires, marriages fail because of the lack faith in and obedience to the God who designed marriage. The Scriptures speak that the wicked are those which do not have God as an ever present reality to them (Psalms 10:4; 89:14). Therefore non-Christian marriages, which have no defense against worldly solicitations, fleshly impulses and satanic deceptions, are defenseless against corrosion of personal relationships, marriage failure, and disappointments in child development. However, it must be said that Christian marriages are not just between Christians, but between Christians who orient their marriages according to the directions of the Lord (Eph. 5:22–32). This is why so many “Christian marriages” fail.
Traditional Christian marriage usually begins with a child's observation of Christian parents. However, these parents must exhibit a devoted love for the person of their Savior and a faithful practice of the principles of marriage as found in the Scripture. Children need to have seen their father as the leader of the home in the likeness of Christ to the Church. They also need to have seen their mother love, respect and honor their father as a servant-leader in the day to day management of the family’s life together. This requires both parents being competent in the knowledge and practice of the Scripture, committed to the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs of the family coupled with the desire to have loving relationships on a day to day basis. From this example, a child sees marriage and family as a healthy, secure and loving relationship. If this is the case, he or she will develop into having an attraction towards the opposite sex with the wholesome conception of a full relationship being played out in married life, not in irresponsible, uncommitted moral impurity. Essentially, the groundwork of life-lasting Christian marriages is to have had role models that instill the values and commitments that reproduce them within the children observing them.